


Side Trips

by james



Category: Leverage
Genre: Community: hc_bingo, Consent Issues, First Time, Humor, Multi, Painkillers, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-16
Updated: 2011-06-16
Packaged: 2017-10-20 11:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/pseuds/james
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliot's on good drugs, which make him relaxed and determined. Parker is just Parker, and Hardison has no hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Side Trips

Hardison let himself into Eliot's place, a bag in his hand from the Thai restaurant. "I'm back," he called out -- not too loudly, just enough for Parker to hear him, where ever she was. When there was no immediate answer he walked further in, and as he stepped into the living room he found himself glommed by Eliot.

Hardison froze. "Er...I have the soup?" he said, trying to raise his arm, but Eliot had them both pinned to Hardison's sides.

Eliot tilted his head back -- and _grinned._ "I like soup," he said. The pupils of his eyes were constricted and his entire face was relaxed. "I like you."

"Okay, that's spooky. What sort of painkillers did they give you, anyway? Can you please not do that?" he asked, as Eliot continued to hug him and smile, happily. Hardison breathed a sigh of relief as Parker came into the room. "Parker, can you..help me out over here?"

She looked at them and walked over -- then took the bag out of Hardison's hand and headed for the kitchen. "I'll get spoons!"

"I meant with... Hey, Eliot," Hardison gave the man a grin, hopefully one that wasn't at all threatening or enticing or whatever he didn't want it to be for fear of his personal safety and well-being.

"I like you a lot," Eliot said again, and Hardison wondered if he was on camera. Other than the ones he'd set up, of course, and just how the hell would anyone convince Eliot to act like this if he _wasn't_ stoned off his ass, Hardison couldn't figure.

"I really, really hope you don't remember any of this when you're back to yourself. Eliot," he spoke slowly, enunciating carefully. "I did not instigate this. And if it helps, I will pretend it never, ever happened. I will let Nate hypnotize me again if necessary."

Eliot just kept grinning at him, arms still wrapping Hardison up in a bear hug. Then he sighed, happily, and let his head fall onto Hardison's shoulder.

"That's it! Man, you are freaking me out! Come on, Eliot, I know you're in there. Growl or something. Come on, glare at me! Only not really, because it was the nice doctors at the hospital who gave you that shot. I just drove you home. Repeat after me: Hardison is not responsible."

"Do you want soup?" Parker asked as she came back in, holding three bowls and three spoons, all lined up on one arm.

"Hey, Eliot, soup! It's that nice...soup thing I couldn't pronounce that you wrote down the name of and the chef made special for you." Hardison tried to jiggle Eliot loose. "You said it was good for puncture wounds. Look! Parker has soup!" He gestured with his chin to no avail.

He looked over to see Parker giving him a look like he'd lost his mind. Hardison just looked back, exasperated and nodded his head at Eliot. It wasn't him who'd lost his mind, here. Parker just sat down and started eating her soup, leaving the other bowls on the coffee table.

Hardison tried again. "Why don't you go sit down next to Parker? You can glom her if you want. Seriously, would it hurt you to growl just a little?" This was possibly worse than Parker on happy pills, he decided. Conceivably ten times worse.

Eliot looked at him, mild curiosity on his face, then he nodded and made a noise in the back of his throat.

"Okay, that was _not_ a growl! That was a _purr!_ Eliot, I'm serious, now, don't make me get badass on you and take advantage of you in your injured state. Let me go, right now." Hardison pushed his arms away from himself, shoving against Eliot's grip on him, and got about half an inch of space and not a bit more.

Then he yelped.

"Hands! Hands in new places!" He tried to jump away, but Eliot was _everywhere_ and one of Eliot's hands was still on his ass. _Caressing._ "Seriously, Parker, help me out here before I get molested!"

Parker blinked at him. "But I thought we wanted Eliot to molest us."

"Not while he is stoned!" Hardison snapped. "And not until we worked up the nerve to suggest it to him without getting our heads torn off."

"You wanna go to bed?" Eliot asked, and he was leaning in, pressing his face into the crook of Hardison's neck.

Hardison whimpered. Parker set her bowl down then leapt up, clapping her hands. "Yes! Finally!" She hurried over and Hardison couldn't get free to stop her.

"Hold up! Hold everything!" He glared at Eliot, who had moved his hand to, indeed, hold one thing at least. "I don't mean you. You need to let go. Parker, you need to stop...whatever you're doing. We are not having sex with Eliot when he's under the influence of good drugs. Or bad drugs. Or any drugs."

"Why not?" Parker looked at Eliot, who was apparently starting without either of them. Hardison held back a yipe, and another whimper, but couldn't hold the shudder when Eliot licked a stripe up his neck.

"Because he will kill us in the morning?" Hardison tried to remind Parker.

Parker rolled her eyes. "Silly! Painkillers make you lose your inhibitions. They don't make you want something you didn't already want." She reached over and took Hardison's hand and tugged it, like Hardison was the one refusing to go anywhere. "In the morning, we'll have proof he would have said yes, and we can do it again!"

"I...do not think your logic is sound," Hardison said, and it was really getting difficult to think, with Eliot nuzzling at him and -- oh dear God, he was kissing Hardison's neck, working his way up Hardison's jaw and chin and--

Eep. Hardison didn't move, couldn't move even though he was vaguely aware that Eliot had let go of the immobilizing hug. Eliot was kissing him, and Hardison's brain was spinning in a little circle of ' oh my God' and 'eep.'

The rest of him was pressing itself against Eliot and kissing him back. When he could breathe again, Hardison shook his head at Parker. "I think this is a very bad idea."

"Most of our ideas are bad ones," Parker said, and she pulled on Hardison's hand and reached over for one of Eliot's. Eliot went easily as she pulled at him, and both Parker and Eliot looked at him with identical, happy smiles.

"Eliot, you have to promise me you'll remember that I protested," Hardison said, but it was a losing battle, and he found himself moving towards the hallway. Parker shrugged off her shirt one-handed, and Hardison was a little distracted and as such, missed when Eliot somehow reached back to him and pulled Hardison's own shirt off.

When he looked, Eliot had lost his own shirt as well, and Hardison wanted to know how the hell he'd missed that, then they were in the bedroom and Parker was taking off her jeans and Eliot was joining her, nude and climbing onto the bed and Hardison could only whisper a prayer that when he woke up, Eliot still liked them.

Eliot looked up at him and gave him a wide, easy smile, and lifted his hand to coax Hardison over.

"If I die, at least I'm gonna die happy," Hardison said, and he dropped his jeans and crawled onto the bed.


End file.
